My personal theory about the Packers

Dateline: Loews Coronado Bay Resort, San Diego CA, 20 September 2004
Here it is (and I don't care how self-absorbed it sounds): Whenever things are going well in my personal life, the Packers suck. But when things head south in my life, the Packers always come through.
I can cite data on this going back . . . uh . . . a while. No, this is not to imply a tortuous young childhood corresponding to the "glory years" of the Lombardi effort. I'm just saying that when things are going well for me, the Packers tend to screw the pooch, but when it feels like life is beating me down, the Packers win. To wit: my daughter gets cancer in 1994 and the Packers go to three straight NFC championships, two Super Bowls and win one NFL title (to bolster their league-leading total of 12). Then we move to Newport, my career takes off, and the Packers, despite having Brett Favre, can't seem to get back to the Super Bowl. That's not just a coincidence.
Do I feel responsible for this state of affairs? Life is life and I can't control many things. I just cite the observations as they come to me, and let the chips fall where they may. After having a bad week with new baby and the kids in school, the Pack beats Carolina in the opener. Then I decide to shake off my ennui regarding my fear that I'll be giving the same brief for the rest of my life and announce I'm going after the Son of PNM and . . . the Pack loses to the Bears at home.
I know what you're thinking . . . besides the part about delusions of grandeur and fanatical narcissism: I should have delayed my decision until afterwe played the Bears. I mean, if I done it this week and we lost to the Colts on the road, it would have seemed perfectly understandable. Now, in effect, the secret is out.
Here's the good news: we never should have won in Carolina. Those two quick turnovers at the beginning of the second half were just too good to be true, much like Ahman Green's fumble providing the Bears a 14-point turnaround just before halftime. So we won one we were supposed to lose and then lost one we were supposed to win: yin and yang and the season's only two weeks old. So fear not: homefield throughout the playoffs is still possible.
Yesterday son Kevin took first place in the male-under-13 category at a 5k road race in New Bedford MA. I was very proud of his effort, coaching him along the way. Kev and I have a lot of fun doing road races, and the time just to ourselves matters a whole lot to both of us. His time wasn't his best (31:26 versus best of 28:18), but he pulled out a first place running along the ocean into a stiff wind for almost two-thirds of the race, finally catching two older kids at the two-mile mark and then never looking back. I know he wouldn't have made anywhere near the same effort without me running alongside him, something the other boys didn't have, but that's why I do it: it's a teachable moment like few others. Kev got this funky heavy star trophy, all engraved and such and he was pretty thrilled. Me, I was just happy that he learned something about how much he could really give when he puts his mind to something, and how sacrifice in the short-term can often lead to satisfaction over the long haulósomething I think about as I gear up for Son of PNM.
I've now read through July in the weblog archives, and I am getting more optimistic by the minute about having enough material for Son of PNM. In many ways, that overstuffed book had far too much material for one volume. It easily could have been three or four books, something my brother-in-law Steve opined when we sent the monster off to Neil Nyren last fall. In short, there are so many strings to be pulled and so many explanations to be extended that not only with the book be a legitimate sequel to the original, it's likewise in danger of being overstuffed at 80k. But that's a good problem for me, because I like to write at a fairly fast-paced and conversational level, rather than drilling down too much on detail. So as I look at Son of PNM, I say to myself: PNM outlined the future worth creating, but its sequel is going to lay out how the story will end. If PNM started with a Pentagon-centric view of the world and history, then the Future Worth Creating sequel is going to expand its vision far beyond those narrow confines, hopefully bringing along all the same readers but likewise capturing that many more. And yeah, keeping it at 80k will be important, because the thicker the book, the harder the sale.
Flew into San Diego late last night, which is always surreal because you fly right over the downtown as you land at its very-much-in-the-middle-of-town airport.
You know that scene in "Kill Bill, Vol. 1" where the Bride is flying into Tokyo to do battle with O-ren? It's a lot like that landing in San Diego (and nothing like landing at Narita outside Tokyo): you seem impossibly close to all these high-rises and street scenes. Yes, it is mesmerizing and scary at the same time, because you know that the runways here are short so both the landing and take-off are far more dramatic in tone.
I'm here to kick off defense investors conference, giving the day-one luncheon keynote. I got talked into this months ago when my calendar for the fall seemed like it was going to be lite. I don't regret it too much now, since it's given me two long flights and some downtime at a fancy spa to do a lot of weblog reviewing (plus recover from the Packers' loss). To the extent that I feel like some government hack (trust me, I'm not the only Defense Department here speaking) being exploited by a private company to run an investor conference, that only makes me more determined to write Son of PNM for all it's worth. Why? Either I chart my own path or others chart it for me.
On that score, I have advice coming at me from all corners. I spent about three hours this afternoon with Bob Jacobsen, an interesting veteran of Silicon Valley who's become an informal adviser on what to do next with the unfolding phenomenon that is PNM. It was an eye-opening discussion about what's really possible right now in my career. Good stuff to know, because Wednesday I face a number of discussions at the Naval War College with superiors regarding my "talents" and how to make them fit within the culture that is the college.
Hard to complain one way or the other. PNM could have landed with a complete thud, which certainly would have simplified my life. Instead, it opened up just enough possibilities that I now face some real questions on what I want to do next, and with whom. I don't fear such questions: you have to ask yourself each and every year whether or not what you've got going right now still makes sense or not. If it does, you stay put. If not, you move along. Asking the question is not the problem, knowing the answer is.
Here a handful of stories from yesterday's Times and today's Times and Journal:
■Hu's your daddy now in China?
■ Iran restores the hard-line on women
■Milosevic forging his own new rule set at ICC