My wife would thank this man

OP-ED: "All Apologies: Working backward in a rude world," by Henry Alford, New York Times 10 November 2008

Wonderful op-ed about a guy sick and tired about the lack of politeness in this world--to wit, the inability of so many people to say "I'm sorry" when it's entirely appropriate to do so.

So he goes around making those apologies for people, confounding them in the process.

As he explains to one woman who smacks him with her stroller:

"No one says I'm sorry anymore, so I do it for them."

"O.K."

"My idea is that if I say I'm sorry, then at least the words have been released into the universe."

She stared at me with equal parts irritation and faint horror, as if I had just asked her to attend a three-hour lecture on the history of the leotard.

I continued: "The apology gets said, even if it's not by the right person. It makes me feel better. And maybe you'll know what to say next time."

"Wow," she said.

And then, finally, came the words I have longed these many months to hear: "I'll think about that."

My wife is like this guy, without the snark . She simply believes in politeness.

I, having been raised in a family where such words were rarely used, am usually reduced to the "wow."

What kills me is that Vonne's willingness to remain polite, even under the rudest conditions, is often seen as a sign of weakness, when actually, there is a glorious, Christ-like strength to be witnessed in such moments.

Comments

[Anonymous]

Thank you Vonne,I for one take my hat off for you.In general when logic stop,the rudeness starts going.it is the difference between respond & reaction,it comes from not knowing.

[CBiggs]

I've found nothing disarms an opponent quicker than apologizing upfront; especially when calling in for service (cellphones, etc).

Good post.

[Mary]

Tom, now we see your brilliant theology as well. YOU get it. Happy Thanksgiving. By the way, only thing that could make me happier about the new president would be his inclusion of you as Sec. of Defense. You are the man for the global hour.

[Javaid Akhtar]

You should come to England for some respite.We are the 'I'm sorry' powerusers of this world.It is specifically used repeatedly by both sides of an any incident ( imaginary or real or possible) without any relation or bearing to fault.

Whenever we have a discussion over here about national identity and how to reinforce the values of this nation to create a coheshive society ( we don't have a contitution to rally around), Britishness becomes a hot topic...what does it mean to be British .

Its never mentioned , but quite clearly they are:1... discussing the bad weather habitually with everyone as an icebreaker/polite smalltalk2....queues ..a sense of fairness which expresses itself in orderly queues...( I know other countries queue as well...but its a quasi-religion here)3...The most important and unique distinguisher..being perpetually sorry and embarrassed for others who have bumped tripped or caused you to move out of the way by no fault of your own (which is of no consequence).The apology is always sincere.