Coming clean
Friday, January 26, 2007 at 6:49AM I will admit that I am somewhat worried about the blog. Life is constant transition and change, and since I don't write corporate but personal and visionary (not an objective statement, but a claim of purpose) my blog's going to capture all that (either making it fascinatingly easy for future biographers or simply leaving clues behind for my kids to figure out exactly "when Dad snapped!").
I hinted at the problem a while back: columns intrude, stealing my best efforts. And with the Fast Company edit looming and my Esquire beast coming on its heels (the first will appear in the April issue [comes out in March] and the second will--in all likelihood--appear in the May issue [comes out in April]), I consistently find myself killing posts because I want to keep that good line or that bit or that line of reasoning.
But I fear it's more than that (and let me admit here that I am writing under the influence right now, which means last week's sinus infection doubled back into both a sinus and ear and I'm not seeing the doc until 3:30).
First, as I noted before, the sense of gearing up for the book is there, and although I don't expect Vol. III to be as current events-tied as PNM or BFA were (because I want to write a sort of primer for the next generation of grand strategists in my "wide thinker but not widely read" sort of way--meanng my book won't be a grand treatment of all other books on the subject because I got out of grad school 17 years ago), I find myself retreating intellectually: observing more, talking less.
Spending lots of time with Steve DeAngelis encourages this, because Enterra's on such a blitzkrieg track right now (smashing through lines, achieving insane breakthroughs which constantly force regroupings of resources--the usual start-up drill) that the Steve-and-Tom show is very Penn and Teller, meaning Steve does most of the talking and I do most of the facial expressions (yes, I'm too tall to play Teller, but I am pretty funny, you gotta admit). Doesn't mean I'm taking a back seat intellectually to Steve (who's very generous in that way), just that this is how the business drill is working right now: I do most of my talking behind closed doors now, most often with Steve himself. In short, I'm strategizing a lot right now, and it's like that output is reducing my intellectual drive on the blog somewhat, especially when all the other stuff (columns, articles, book) looms in addition.
Getting settled in Indy is probably contributing to this withdrawl as well. Having been on the run so long and for so hard naturally crates a regrouping phenomenon.
So I worry about the blog.
In reality, though, it's counter-intuitive. The blog should go downhill as other things go uphill. Not just the intellectual output, but the career story-telling because I'm increasingly having interactions I can't explore here, as more and more meetings start with the admonition "Don't put this in your blog!" I mean, I don't want to become the professional commentator nor the Kitty Kelly/Bob Woodward-like leak conduit. Those are great functions in their own right, and I'm sure there's a small army of smart people out there striving mightily to achieve those heights, but I'm pretty sure that's not what I want to do.
You know sometimes I feel bad about giving basically the same brief for the last decade or so, even as I swap out all the slides and sometimes, like over the last two weeks, give briefs that are fundamentally different. The process has always been the same: old stuff gets squished up front and new stuff gets added on the end, like a giant sausage factory. But underlying it all are the same questions and just better and better versions of answers over time. The kernel software has never really changed for me, just gotten more robust.
But I think that's the right way for me to go (hell, I have people say they've seen "the brief" six times and it just keeps getting better and better--and they say that with great enthusiasm). I just can't be somebody with a new grand strategic vision every other week, because then I really would be just another op-ed columnist, and I think that would be the death of me.
I think I need to be the Philip Glass type, or the Roy Lichtenstein type, or the Christopher Walken type, or the Jackson Pollack type, or the Laurie Anderson type, or the M. Night Shyamalan type. I need to keep shaping the perfect thing, getting as close to the essence as possible, wherever that takes me and accepting the Zen-like repetition of the work.
I've often thought the blog is very helpful on that score, allowing the repeated attempts at the same task, over and over and over and over again. But if you feel the bouncing rubble phenomenon, is that your fault or the medium's? Cause I feel anything but stale right now, I just find myself operating at different levels that aren't as easily translated here as they were--say--even six months ago.
So maybe the blog, as a career/intellectual function naturally drifts in and out. You know, that happens to creative people all the time: they just get tired of the format. Eno sort of said that. You just need to shift some gears, either to refresh or simply to move on.
Anyway, there it is for now.
Reader Comments (11)
Downhill is too strong.
Save your best content for paying venues. Maximize the side of the blog that is a dialogue with readers, where people are telling you things or answering questions or responding to things you are not sure yet you want to publish.
Do not feel the need to add a lot of additional verbiage to a link you think is interesting, if you are too busy. One or two sentences.
Blogs have been generically broken into "linkers" and "thinkers". As you are busy doing your "thinking" in other venues, you can fade more to the other side.
Also, all bloggers have peaks and valleys. That is why group blog are easier to keep going than solo blogs. So, that part of the dynamic is inevitable.
Use the blog as a sounding board, query board, kvetch session and link-fest. If you can sell your content, sell it. All bloggers wish they could do that, anyway.
As someone who has read nearly everything on your blog, books, CSPAN, etc., I sincerely appreciate your efforts and generosity in sharing your thoughts and time with us. If you do "slow down" your time on the blog, it's well deserved although it would be missed.
Like many others, I've shared your ideas with co-workers, friends, and family.
Best regards,Brian
Go man go!
I'm 74 and I value your energy directed toward your family life. Very inspirational and it is there that I would focus a meditative effort to be sure all stays in balance. I said in an earlier comment that your spiritual core is apparent in all you write if one listens for your heart felt concern for the suffering in the Gap. I'd recommend a special set of minutes each day that are just for you.All my blessings for you and your family.Bob
At times, I also feel burnt out or stale, usually when administrivia work tedium eats up my best creative energy. I find that reading/doing something entirely new and unrelated, even if it is a minor thing, is a better recharger for my brain than even sleep.
The reason I like the blog is it humanizes your vision. I subscribe to very few blogs but all have one thing in common, the human side mixed with the "technical" side.
While I would miss your insight, I would miss more seeing where you are taking the vision. Because, I think that is when the vision gets more clear.
I usually regret the woe-is-me posts after I write them, but if it wasn't for the confessional outlet of the blog, I never would have stuck with it this long.