Catching my breath, stressing all around me

Dateline: SWA flight from PVD to BWI, 7 April 2005 (0900)

Today is a microcosm of all the stress that three big decisions I recently made (some with my spouse, some alone) are exerting over my family life. As of 2:30pm yesterday, I had canceled my two-day trip to DC to do some work for upcoming Esquire features (one with very short fuse, other longer). It had been a huge relief to do so, even as it caused me to disappoint a dear mentor regarding a promised appearance in his George Washington U. class for tonight and to cancelóat the last minuteóa breakfast tomorrow with a DC-based Catholic priest who wanted to discuss the moral implications of PNM. The people in the Pentagon's office of public affairs hadn't come through with any interviews for today, plus I was feeling the crush of needing to get more work done on the book. But frankly, the main reason I was relieved was that we have four showings of the house today and one sick kid. A bit more stressing was that I took Em and Kevin (my two oldest) to a Celtics game last night in Boston (planned weeks ago), along with a friend of Em's and my partner (and webmaster) Critt and his daughter.

So here I was yesterday, feeling nervous about the book, feeling like my first effort for Esquire was falling apart, and that I was stressing how my family hugely by having to spend so much time on both right when we are trying to sell the house. Even my attempt to spend quality time with the kids was stressful, keeping them up far too late on a school night and failing to relieve Vonne of caring for Jerry because he came down with a temperature yesterday.

Then boom! I get a call and I'm on today for an interview with a senior player who's hard to access for scheduling, so I'm outta the house at 0640, leaving Vonne with four kids to manage, four house showings to endure, and Dad yet again nowhere in sight. I sit on the plane now, feeling somewhat burned out, hoping to God this interview goes through, and hoping against . . . I dunno . . . that I score maybe two others today but that no one wants to grant me one tomorrow so that I can get back on a plane tonight, get my ass home, and help out while I can.

Otherwise, I might actually be starting a long trip away from home, because I'm on tap tomorrow to fly to Indiana to start the house search with my mother-in-law and our realtor. Theoretically, I return home from that on Monday, but if my Pentagon handlers schedule interviews for Monday . . . I'll probably stop at BWI on my flights home and stay in DC for . . . who knows how long? I have a paying speech I gotta deliver in DC on Wednesday morning, with flights and hotel and . . . geez . . . did I sked a rental? Do I need to?

Worse case, I don't return home til late next week. Best case: I'm home tonight around 9pm.

I keep telling myself that everything is going well. What's stressing us all so is the success, not failures. The consulting, speaking, writing, etc. all go so well that we could move this year instead of next. But that's stressful. Having all those things go well means a certain amount of travel and crushing spurts of work, and that's stressful. The book is dragging on in schedule, but Mark and I are doing great things together and I'm very pleased with the quality of the text. The house looks great and is showing great and there are a lot of viewings and today we have our first repeater four days into the process. By all descriptions from our IN realtor, we should be able to find a big old house somewhere in the country with some land and it'll all cost about º of what that would be out here in the East. Our kids are all healthy and our puppy Bailey settles in amazingly well. If we can land near Franklin IN, we probably have the three oldest all going to the same great Catholic grade school. The move is scheduled. All good stuff . . . but all incredibly stressful.

I had to pack my bag last night at midnight as if I was going to be gone for 9 days, so that meant including all my endnote materials, because I have to get that mostly done in that timeframe, no matter where I'm located.

I could really use a break today. Best case: I do my 1300 in the PNT, and then have two more lined up immediately after. I'm out of there by 1700 and make . . . geez . . . maybe the 2050 that gets me into PVD at 2200 and home about an hour before midnight.

I'll blog some news stories during the day. Pulled a bunch of interesting bits from the Times and Journal while we were ascending on this flight. Hope to get Chapter 5 from Mark today. Hoping Esquire can get me a good flight home tonight. Hoping, hoping, hoping. Stressing, stressing, stressing.